Sweet Digression

Am I the only one who doesn’t want this year to end? I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but I feel that the rug of my life is being pulled out from under me. And I only just started writing ‘08 on my paper. And now I’ll have to get used to ‘09. Grrrr.

I don’t want a new year!

Happy holidays everyone!
‘Funny’ thing is, we were going to have a white Christmas, and then the rain washed it away Life is unfair. :(
And I don’t think the Christmas Special of Doctor Who airs here, so… What a good day it is *sarcasm*

Seriously though, hope everyone’s great!

Ever since I was in sixth grade, people told me that I wrote well. I’m not saying this to be arrogant or annoying or anything, because these people also pointed out many (MANY) things that were very bad in my writing. But the point is they thought my hobby could go on to be more.

Up until this year, I liked to believe them. Mostly because I love writing. In fact, if I was to guess what my career is going to be in some years, I’d say I’m going to be a journalist, because I very much want to be one. But lately nothing I write seems to come out right. It started with reading Twilight (a book I have publically said I hate in the past) and realizing that Stephanie Meyer probably didn’t revise her writing very much. Ever since then, my greatest writing fear is that people will think that I don’t edit my writing.

This month I finally got an idea for a fictional story. Exciting…only not really. I had to write the same beginning 5+ times (literally) to get it to sound ‘all right’. Even now I’m not pleased. I’m so displeased, in fact, that I can’t bear to write anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me

What do you do when you’re in a writing pickle?

It does.

Up until this year I’ve never really liked art. But my current art teacher is so much fun and so nice. As long as you’re done ahead of time, you can do whatever you want (art related).

So when I was done with my clay project, I took some time to make a tardis ¹. I just got it back today. You can tell that I cared more about this than the actual project (said project is in two pieces and very badly painted while the tardis is smooth.)

The picture really doesn’t do my little TARDIS justice. It’s green (I painted it blue but it came out green so I just decided it’s Romana’s tardis or soemthing, even though she didn’t have one). And slightly lopsided.

So yeah.

Anyone else love art class?

¹ for those who don’t know, the TARDIS is the doctor’s time traveling machine. It looks like a telephone box from the ’50s. It’s supposed to be blue.

It’s from Doctor Who

I know you’ve all been waiting for this. I know you were all turning in your bed last night waiting for the last bit of this review. How do I know? Because I watch you from your window, like Edward. Let’s assume I’m also amazingly awesome looking, sparkly, and a vampire.

When we last left off, Bella and Edward were in the forest, professing their love for each other. Right.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.”

Some things sound really bad. Terribly bad. Cheesy, horrible. These things tend to sound worse when said aloud. This scene was supposed to be dramatic, I guess. But it really wasn’t. It was cheesy. Of course, since Edward and Bella are now madly in love, Edward decides not to keep any more secrets. He needs to tell her how horrible he is. BELLA I’M EVIL!!11! DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!!1!! And of course Bella doesn’t believe him. Something so beautiful just can’t be evil, you know what I mean? So of course Eddie here decides to prove it to her. He starts jumping from tree to tree like a rabid monkey, all the while explaining how he’s stronger than her, faster than her, and if he wanted to hurt her, he could. Um, can you say verbal abuse?. Cause Bella can’t.

None of this does anything to Bella, of course. She is completely not phased. All that matters is that this sexy vampire loves her with all of his dead heart. Of course, her being so naive angers Edward. He grabs her and starts to fly, taking her to the top of a mountain (the flying, btw, is terribly fake… they were moving in a pattern and you could easily guess how the scene was done).

This is my favorite part. Watch out, it gets a little scary.

He goes to the top of the mountain, where there’s one small, perfect area of sunlight. Edward stands in the sun for a moment and then slowly turns around.

It took me a moment to realize what was going on. Then I got it. ZOMG EDWARD IS GLITTERING! SEXY SEXY SEXY! (in case anybody cares to know: I fake squealed once during this movie, and the girls in front of us started seriously squealing).

“You’re beautiful.” Bella says. Course he is. He should be. After all the body glitter he applied just for you? If I hadn’t read parts of this book, my first guess would have been that vampires are allergic to certain sunscreens, and the only one they can use contains body glitter.

“Beautiful? This is the skin of a killer.” It’s lucky my friends were there. Because many possible options went through my head. 1) laugh hysterically 2) kick the screen. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how his sparkliness makes him beautiful or frightening. That’s just me.

(The rest of this is going to be COMPLETELY out of order, depending on which part I really feel like reviewing).

Somewhere after this, Edward takes Bella to meet his family. Aka, the freakshows. Alice (the only character I didn’t despise) is way too friendly. Rosalie is a complete b*tch about everything. And Edward doesn’t help much. But here are some quotes of the scene just so you can see how amazing it was.

“Are you sure she’s Italian?”
“Her name’s Bella.”

Bella: “Oh yeah I’m starving” (something along those lines)
Edward: *annoyed* “She already ate!” [”…My god what’s wrong with you people? Why haven’t you perfected the art of stalking? You should already know this!”]
Rosaline: *breaks bowl with magic vampirey powers of doom

Twas wonderful, I’ll admit. I wanted to cry at the sweetness of a feel good family scene. I mean, it really showed how flawed vampires are. They’re not perfect, no matter what Stephanie (and all these fangirls) seem to think. THEY’RE REAL PEOPLE!!11!!!!!!. Yeah. Whew.

Somewhere around this time, Bella finally tells her dad about Edward.

“Isn’t he a bit old for you?”
“No. He’s a junior. I’m a junior…” (that was about as intelligent as Bella got in this movie, minus the forced reading/knowledge of the square root of pi).
“Bring him in. *picks shotgun up*.” This might be a good time to point out that Bella’s dad, Charlie, is waaaayyy overprotective. He barely talks to Bella, but whenever anything even SLIGHTLY bad happens to her, he goes all ahdon’ttouchmybabygirl on you. Edward comes in, explains about how they’re going to play baseball, exciting exciting exciting.

They get to the baseball scene. The first five minutes was just another opportunity to show off Edward’s (not)sexiness. Seriously. He runs amazingly fast, and Rosaline gets all pissy and annoyed, and Alice just keeps throwing baseballs. And then the evil vampires come. My heart just broke when I saw them. I mean these are the people who almost *ruin* Edward and Bella and their amazing not relationship of true looooovvveeee….

Only not really.

James seems to have one thing against Edward: his sexiness. Because James tends to walk around without a shirt. Tis not a pretty sight. I think he should have sparkled. Would have added to the ’scariness’ of that amazing scene. The Cullens tell them to stop hunting on the Cullen territory, all the while Bella is wearing a jacket so that they won’t notice she’s human (something about smells again). But as she turns around, her hood falls slightly off.

“You brought a snack.” James says.

Oh no!

This is my favorite scene. Edward rushes Bella to the car, buckles her about a thousand times until she yells “I’M FINE!” and then sits down, starts to drive.

“Buckle your seatbelt.” Bella says.
“WHY DON’T YOU BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELT???” (”CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU AND AM TRYING TO HELP AND PLUS I CAN’T DIE WAAAHH!”) Haha. Edward, you angry vampire you.

So they make up a wonderful plan. Bella will pretend to run away, and Edward and co (minus Alice and Emmett) will go off and try to lead James on the wrong path. Tis a smart plan indeed.

Except it doesn’t work. James catches on and pretends to have taken Bella’s mum, so Bella meets up with him and he beats her up, and she’s bloody and wounded and OW! He broke her leg! My god James just EAT her already. So Edward comes to save her, but James has bitten her. Oh NOES! She’s gonna be a vampire now! Alice breaks James’s neck and throws him in the fire. Yum. And then Edward tries to suck the venom out of Bella (BECAUSE SHE CAN’T BE A VAMPIRE SHE JUST CAN’T! IT’S WRONG! AND EDWARD DOESN’T WANT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE TO END UP LIKE HE DID! Frankly I think he’s selfish and just wants to get more girls when she’s dead. Just my opinion.)

Bella is now in a hospital (surprisingly she looks fine, absolutely fine, a cast and a few bandages, but nothing as severe as what it seemed like in the last scene). Her mum is there. And she happens to explain what she thinks happened to Bella (aka, the version she was spoon fed by the Cullens).

“You fell down two flights of stairs and went through window.” Haha. These Cullens can’t lie very well. Bella tells her mum to get her dad, she needs to apologize, also she wants to stay in Forks (I would too, if I had an abusive stalker sparkly vampire boyfriend there). Edward has been watching her sleep this whole time. They have a nice heart to heart chat about James being dead (awww, how cute), and then Edward tells her that she might have to move/or he’ll have to leave.

Bella’s reaction = priceless.

“Wh-wh-n-I-you-are-you-no!-ser-wha-no-you-NOO-cant!!” With some twitching in there. Haha. And he falls for this. Or, as I have said before, it seems he just needs to be reassured of her love for him. Because if he changes his mind because of her twitching, then he couldn’t have been too serious in the first place.

And then prom. Aw. I mean, screw the fact that Bella told Mike she was busy…IT’S EDWARD we’re talking about here. And she talks about how she wants to be with him forever, she dreams about being with him forever. So he starts to bite her neck…except that instead he kisses it. Ooh, Edward. You’re so clever and witty I LOOOOOVE you!

The end.

That was really long, sorry.
Note (again): The acting wasn’t that bad. The filming was *terrible* with lots of turns. And whenever they were about to kiss the camera would zoom in on a tree. But Kristen and Rob were pretty good, and I liked Alice a lot

Note: hardcore fans of Twilight, I do not mean to offend you. If you don’t like hearing ‘bad things’ about Twilight, don’t continue reading Spoilers will exist.

So I saw the movie. I know, I know: WHY? Frankly I’ve watched too many trailers to miss something as cheesy as this. So I’m going to do a sort of basic review (no, this will not be posted in the movie review section of my site, because it’s not going to be structured). Note that I haven’t actually read the entire Twilight book.

The movie started with Bella talking. Unlike many others, I actually really like Kristen Stewart as Bella. I just think she’s exactly what I pictured. She moves in with her father in a town called Forks. Instantly every boy in school is in love with her. There is absolutely no reason for this except for the fact that Forks happens to be so boring (apparently) that anything new attracts their attention.

Lots of tiny things happen (you find out that Mike and Eric have an obsession with Bella, and that Bella instantly fits in with everyone) and Bella goes to biology. Where Edward happens to be (ooh, sexy) (not seriously, of course). Bella has done nothing to him, and yet he hates her. In fact, right after class he asks to be switched out of class. Whoa…what? Well obviously if you don’t understand you’re just not thinking enough about it (except for the fact that this movie requires zero thought).

Days pass by and you find out that the Cullens don’t come to school on sunny days. Whoa. And then Edward saves Bella from a truck about to hit her (very fake, by the way, as he almost squishes her in the process. He’s rather violent when it comes to ‘delicately saving’ her.) She instantly knows something is up (very sharp thinking on her part, by the way, because after all there were no other signs *cough*such as color changing eyes and absence on sunny days *cough*). So when Bella meets up at the beach with everyone, she takes the time to talk to Jacob about all this. Ooh, chills for all the ‘Team Jacob’ fangirls. It’s apparently enough information for Bella to search a bit on the internet and find a book that talks about all this.

When shopping for dresses with friends (yes the movie seriously jumps from one thing to another like this) Bella completely ditches them to go to a bookstore (which she swears is only a minute away, but is really near a dark alley far far away). Basically: evil guys try to hurt Bella, Edward saves her again, friends get angry that she’s late, Edward eats with her, etc, etc. Except for one thing! Edward admits to being able to read everyone’s thoughts…except for Bella’s. Huh? Edward, are you sure? It could just be that she has nothing going on in there

Did I mention that Edward has been watching Bella for the past few days? No. Oh. Well he has. As Edward is driving Bella home, she magically touches his hand. It’s cold. Obviously this means he’s not human.

Bella is later reading this book and suddenly finds something that seems to describe Edward. So she looks it up online (since I know you’re just dying to know, she has a black mac computer, and they advertise it like crazy by making it work super fast and making Bella use it all the time.) and finds out about vampires.

The next day she drags Edward into the forest (apparently the most quiet, private, SAFE place to talk in private) and confronts him. “I know what you are, your skin is pale white, and ice cold.” ZOMG NO WAY!

Some minutes later they’re flying and Edward admits to loving her.

Wait, wha–?

Yeah that’s right.

Somehow the line between love and hate has been crossed. And this happens to be the best teenage romance EVER in the words of most fans. *eye roll*

I think I’m going to stop there for tonight. I have a twilight sucks Tshirt to order and a message board to join
Note: I actually think the actors did an *amazing* job considering what they had to work with. Rob Pattison got as much into character as he could (according to some sources, he doesn’t seem to like the role) and Kristen Stewart was Bella (only she acted a bit too smart and graceful)
The only thing I really liked (as in really) was Bella’s cell phone. It was pretty.